My Way

its 17.29 im in the office and having nothing to do because we dont have much work to do recently so i am writing this blog to kill time.

 

i was going to not write anything on this msn space anymore as i found that we are letting our goodfriends know how we are doing and what we are doing, meanwhile we are satisfing some gossip people wondering what other peoples' business they can mind. i was told that some people from bnu make up gossip about me, saying that i am trading with customers immorally when i am working in nightclub. the first moment i heard about this, i was like %$%&(^£!!$^&%£... i guess thats why western people know there is something called 'chinese whisper' huh? passing every word they can pass one by one and then the fact is completely changed. i think those who talk about this because they are childish should go clubbing so that they would know how it is rather than hiding at home and those who gossip about this should go to - HELL as they never know that how much this can hurt innocent peoples' feeling.

 

i made up my mind to not to write blog any more and i even created a handwriting diary by writing the first one, but when i was reading my blog to update my placement logbook this afternoon, i found that how interesting my blog was and it memories all my successes and failures. i decide to still write my blog, but as bobo said blog is a public place after all. i will be more careful in the future. gossip people just still care about other peoples' business even people leave them alone.

 

last week was ok and normal, but still interesting. i was wearing a skirt when i worked on friday night and everyone goes to me'why are you wearing a skirt i have never seen you wearing a skirt'. and everyone in my club is wondering whether i am in love or i got a boyfriend or not. yeah. i am in love. i am going crazy. i am going mad. i didnt realize this until i went back to try to find him after i came out. there is nothing i can do and he can almost read it from my face. i am glad that i am honest with myself though.

 

ok. i decide to just relax and enjoy my holiday with my cousin this weekend. and WHAT COMES UP COMES UP.

today i decide to talk about love. well... not really love...

 

someone goes to me:"i can be your part-timer"...

 

basically this man doesnt do relationship, but just want someone to fuck, which is what he told me by himself, however he is such a nice and lovely man i have ever met that i wouldnt even mind marrying him. to some extend, he is very much my type. i am clear that no matter what he do to me, no matter how lovely it is, the next moment, he can do it to another woman, not whoever though.i have been thinking about what he said to me all the time, even now, when i am working. obviously he is tempting me to his bed, or he doesnt care. maybe it doesnt matter that he becomes my part-timer as i do like him, he seems safe and i deserve comforting myself in my way, but the thing is once i walk into his house i will have to follow the rules there -- good morning good bye! just like the title of a chinese book. can i really make it? i dont know. i cant even persuade myself to have sex with someone i am not in love with. i just cant help thinking about this. cant imagine how upset i will be if i cant help fall in love with him when we hang around together. he is single (because he prefers doing everything for fun rather than having a girlfriend) but i am sure we will definitely not be life partners for some reason. poor me just want some proper relationship and some proper relationship man.

 

i told my friend m*** about this yesterday and we both think that men in their 30s are dangerous as they are mature and attractive. i need advice and i know what kind of people can give me advice, but no one tells me at the moment. i dont really know whom to talk to. i dont want some common answers as they may not help me or they may not even apply to me.

 

i have been thinking about this every moment, again and again. am i in love?

i have done quite a few applications for 2006 entry yesterday and loads of photocopies. i feel i have done some exercise, so that i am getting more and more familiar with applications, which is what i mainly deal with in the coming academic year. as i said in my last blog, the more work i do, the more i feel i need to learn, because there are so many kinds of international students' situations. meanwhile, i think i am too slow doing every individual application and once i get several applications at the same time, i feel dizzy haha... people say some placement students spend the whole year standing in front of the photocopy machine, but who can say proper employees dont? thats how i feel. as a normal application process, each application material has to be photocopied as reference, thus whoever do the application will have to do the photocopy. i believe it applies to other companies.

 

it is almost the time to go home and i decide to finish this blog today because i have to tell everyone about my funny story this morning i am wearing heel shoes today as i am taking a photo of myself for the news letter being published by my office. they are not high heel, but i seldom wear heel shoes in my life. i was rushing on my way to the office because i didnt want to be late, but i was not used to my heel shoes and one of them stuck in the gap of the floor, so my foot came out without the shoe lol... oh good. i was thinking luckily no one on the street knew me. when i was going into my work building i was thinking 'yeah' im here i can stop walking, however... there was also a gap in front of the door of the entrance (luckily it was the back door). this time my foot didnt come out without the shoe, but the top of the channel under the floor came out with my shoe LOUDLY. there was a lady working by the window next to the entrancc, so she was staring at me, thinking that what is this wired girl doing. i felt so embarrassed, but still had to kick the top back to where it was for safety reason... lol lol i must be the funniest office lady in the building.

 

anyway, i love my heel shoes and decide to wear them a lot in my office hehe... time to go home!!! have a fun night, guys.

its 4.45 in the afternoon and i am in the office, writing some introduction about myself for news letter being published in my department and thinking about how i can finish the tasks i have been given. a chinese education agent is coming to kingston university next wednesday to film kingston university campus in order to represent us. basically, my job for this project is to find some international students, especially chinese students, to talk about their daily life and the assistance from their schools in our interview. i am searching every chinese i know in kingston in my mind. thats marketing.

 

our office has been a little bit quiet since i worked here and i was told that it will be quiet until october as we normally deal with entry application, thus once student enrol and go to uni it will be other departments' job to help them and give them advice. i have been in the international office for almost a month. its not a long time for a person's career life, but i have leant a lot, especially about how small i am, to be honest. the more i learn, the more i feel i need to learn. i used to think that i am so hard working, weekdays in office and weekend in nightclub, however, some lady in my office work full time and study part time MBA!!! that is so hard. job seekers who have master degree in the uk in china are competing for vacancy offered by kingston university's office in china.

 

anyway, i will just try my best to do a well done placement programme. i believe i will be totally different and mature when i go back to uni next year. 

 

its time to go home and i am hanging out in london tonight hehe... have a good night guys.  

yeah!!! im back!!! i have been planning for this blog for a long long time because ME i got a placement job in the international office of kingston university and i start working today!!!! NOW im having a one hour lunch break in front of my desk haha. this office is pretty good and the people are pretty nice. im lovin it!!!!!! that is exactly what i dreamt about -- office lady dressing up, working in a relaxing office of a large organization... yeah after these several months being desparate and a little bit depressed, i got a phonecall from the manager of this office and got this job after some sort of interview. i feel sooooo lucky getting this job. this may be the happiest thing that happened to me since i came to the uk. i cannot express how happy i am in words. at the same time, i feel that im having a whole year break -- after being a student almost all my life. terri told me shes gonna get down to reading some books because she stopped reading books apart from textbooks when she started a level. yeah we seldom had time reading what we want to read or feel free doing what we want to do during our student life. well at least i feel my student life is like that exam and then sometimes resit lol. just finished resitting management science & statistics yesterday (its MATHS >_<) and was planning to go visit clover and li in wales today, but i cannot catch a break. anyway, i have plenty of free time now as i can do anything i like after work this year and im sure it will be good experience working in this office on the lovely riverside for the placement year 

 

have a nice time this academic year guys!

went to some town near kingston yesterday to attend an interview. i didnt really want to go to that interview as i sent a cover letter for another company to them, so i never thought that they would give me an interview. i guess they are desperate for placement students. and i found some grammer mistake in their job description. how can they be so stupid, making a mistake that even me -- a chinese student wont make it? the interview was ok and they showed me some marketing projects their previous placement students did. oh my god! they were not projects. they were books!! thick books!! i cant image what its gonna be like if i am asked to do those projects and write those reports. they suck.

 

the lady from celadon (kind of chinese company) is trying to figure something out to offer me the part time placement job she mentioned. i am so happy about that as i know that i have hope!

 

went to watch a free film with yifeng and musa last night. there were so many people there that the screen hall was full. i never knew that free things are so popular. maronda from sex and the city was in that film, but it was a kids film. the film was so funny and sweet that musa said it is even better than war of the worlds (oh no impossible!). next time i will watch fantastic 4 i think haha!

 

at night i met my new invisible chinese flatmate finally. he told me he has been out on holiday, so i didnt see him, not because he worked hard lol. seems that i am still the most hardworking person in my flat haha. one of my new flatmates gareth -- an irish is quite nice. he is the only flatmate who talks to me at least once everyday as guys in my flat are all quiet. sometimes i feel no body go out with me or talk to me, even if i watch big brother in the living room every night as they all have their own tv.

havent updated my blog for about 2 weeks, because i was staying in yifeng's place and then moved to my new place -- my current place. the new place is nice. although i am the only girl in the flat, the guys are all mature students, so i am enjoying a quiet environment in my new flat. there is something very interesting in the flat. there is a chinese boy who works in mac donalds downstairs. he works so hard that i havent even seen him once since i moved in as i work at night and he works in day time haha...

 

you guys must think that the title of this blog is wired. they are the names of companies i went for interviews for the last week! if you have read my blog before you would know that i name my blog after them so that i can count how many unsuccessful applications i had before i get a placement job.

 

the workbuster one, it was a small compay in which all the staff are just the boss and the placement student as it is a domestic cleaning business from generation to generation. i was late for about 50 minutes as i got lost and many underground lines were suspended and i was given a lesson by a black guy(i have never thought that i would be given lessons by a black as some minority blacks are rude and unfriendly in my mind). i was rushing crossing the road as i was late and i got lost when that mr black stopped his car to let me go. when i reached the other side of the road i heard someone said:"thank you necessary love!" when i turned around i realized that it was a black man and he must think that i am rude. so shameT_T the interview was alright and casual and the placement student even ate lunch when she was asking me questions haha, but i havent got any fedback.

 

the sony one, you guys must all know that sony is a large international company. you wont believe it. they just ask me some simple questions such as: what do you do in your spare time? what is your hobbies? and they took a student just a few hours after the 1st round interview, which is not as usual as a large company, in my opinion! it was good experience though.

 

the surbiton high school one was so shit. they moved their offices to a temporary place, but they never gave my tutor the correct address, which made me have problems finding their offices. maybe i would not find it had i not met a gentleman who works there. the hr administrative asked me to tell the key element of marketing planning, so i went targeting, positioning and segmentation... and then the head mistress asked me what targeting, positioning and segmentation is... oh mother godT_T how can i remember those stuff a long time after exam. i am not confident anymore now and i dont know what is going on.

 

anyway, maybe i will just find some more part time jobs to make some money, just like my invisible new flatmate lol.

 

went to watch war of the worlds with yifeng and my colleague musa finally yesterday! it was such a good movie that i might think that i havent been watching such a good film for a long time, however i would prefer watching it with my family or my boyfriend(if i have one) as its really scary!! i really gotta find a boyfriend soon, otheriwse i will still be lonely when i have my 22nd birthday!! >_< went to clubs after movie and saw massive fights in my workplace. some customers are just idiots. they got pissed off because our colleagues served us before them! got a little bit pissed when i came back and felt sick when i got up this morning, not because of drinking though.

 

gotta go do my food shopping and get ready for work. goodluck and fyefye guys!